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NO

I haven't been honest with anyone lately. I haven't been honest with myself, either. I am putting up a "funny" face every single day, trying to look strong and be strong, though I am dying deep inside. I thought I'd be fine, that I'd be okay, but I am not. I see him, everyday, wishing and hoping that all will be well. But it doesn't. Yet, I have to let him go, because this is the only thing I can do for him to be happy. I don't want to ask for him to choose me, I can't and I won't. I love him, and I should respect his decision.

I am not okay. I haven't been honest with my feelings lately. I haven't been honest with anyone, not even myself. I AM NOT OKAY. I know, I tell all who ask me how I am that I am fine, but I am not. I see him, every single day. I try to suck it all up and be all funny and everything, trying to be and look strong, but I am DYING deep inside. If only I could take away all this pain away in one cry, I'd do it with no hesitation, but I know that's impossible. I thought I'd be fine, but I've realized that I can't be fine, until I really don't get to see him anymore. I talk to him now, laugh and joke around with him, BUT HEY, I AM NOT OKAY. I have to let him go, I have to. Because that's the only thing I could do left for him. I have to, even if I don't want to.
NO. I AM NOT OKAY.

I AM NOT.

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blackandwhite
aixtraordinary
aixtraordinary

I am a dreamer.

An aspiring writer who loves unconditionally and reads slowly.

I am not perfect. I cry. I laugh. I curse. I pray.

I am just not like anybody.

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